Tripti Kumar

Subject: DEAR DAD ........




A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED
WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.

THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE
BED.

IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD".

WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER
WITH TREMBLING HANDS:

DEAR DAD,

IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS.
I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED
TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.

I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS
SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER
TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.

BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT
AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY.

EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER AS SHE IS MUCH OLDER THAN I,
SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR
THE
WHOLE WINTER.

SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE
OF MY
DREAMS TOO.

BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE
AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING
IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE WANT.

IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE
FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!

DON'T WORRY DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE
OF
MYSELF.

SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW
YOUR
GRANDCHILDREN.

YOUR SON,

JOHN

P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S
HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE
ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD
THAT'S IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER. I LOVE YOU!

CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an
organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that
the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed
a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a
spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had
spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well, 'he explained, "The restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to
revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded
that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop
frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are
better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and
save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with
his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of
making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the
waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same
string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the
waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right
there?"

Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the
restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it
out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening
the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" "Well," he
whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon!!!."

hey all
had a long weekend.attended an all night BIHARI wedding.in true monsoon wedding style.christ it was pourin cats and dogs.the bride who is my paternal second cousin was wearing a trosseau weighing almst 7-8 kilos.and ya she and her mom had to fast the whole day.ridiculous i know, but customary...duh!!!all this apart i had loads of fun... and ya needess tsay shaadi ka khana.!

ok...the food was great last night....and the dessert was finger lickin...ooh mama it was really awesome....then ya i am burdened wit work in my internship place....good food after a hectic day with a great crowd....wat more does one want anyways...!!!

hey all...
startin my internship today...so kinda really nervous,tat apart coll started and as usual it sucks...all that they say goes blah!had a long vacation at home..now back to normal and hopefully this weather gets better...catch u later guys...regards!!!1

hey...
b'lore weather sucks...hard to understand whether gods are happy,angry or blah! comin to think of it...gods must be crazy!!suddenly it rains,suddenly its sunny...and of course its thundering ,lightning and even worse sometimes...power cuts becomin everyday story..
stillits a helluva weather and a place to be in..tempts u to sit back and chill with a hot cuppa koffee!!!cheers!

finally my exams r over and my hols r here...
now i think and hope i will post more regularly....
i am goin home now...ya i live in hostel...and my home in somebody's words is a place"with no cellular network"...so much for my regularity...heaven bless me...catch u all later...muah!!!

Your brain: 80% interpersonal, 60% visual, 240% verbal, and 20% mathematical!

Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers. Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious: Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 72% on interpersonal You scored higher than 61% on visual You scored higher than 99% on verbal You scored higher than 12% on mathematical

Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on Ok Cupid